Sic Semper Tyrannis

Ned Bearskin & myself, breaking-fast

Three days of Feverish Competition had unseated yr poor Correspondent's brains, and hence the dearth of Post-Mails. On yester-eve, my noble Host Col. Fedore had me to feast, & gracious Mistress Tess did make such a meal as I had never seen. This repast nourished my famished stomach, & wett'd my parched throat. As when in youth, I was known to break an Easter Fast with my noble friend Ned Bearskin, my Relief was great.

But, Indolence oft augurs Industry. In the mean-time, as I make return to longer, profounder speculations - a recent occasion of mirth & celebration.


That the antient College of Wm. & Mary has dim'd its athletic light, so as not to obscure the Candle of Academics, is no secret. And that the Univ. of VA, a storied & well-heel'd Institution, has been prideful of its athletic prowess, shou'd surprise no one. Like the Famed 3 Graces of Greece, the 3 Colleges of Virginia each have their pleasing Vantages, and their commodious Beauties.

Weekend last, however, saw two of these cultivated & charming Ladies Mud-Wrestling to the Finish. Let us call them Virginia & Guillaumette. These charming wenches beat their Breasts and charged, full-tilt, at each other. Virginia's manicured & pink-plaster'd nails ran across Guillaumette's goatish face; Virginia asked G. if she wd like to go to a Banging Festivity at a Frat Bro-han's house, where they wd have flute-playing, spirits, cookies, and many other such Treats as delight the Female senses. And yet Guillaumette did decline, saying that she had a most aweful Examination approaching, and her study group waited, even as she spoke. Yet further, Virginia, taking cue from her Bro-hans, refused 'No' for an Answer, and slip'd poor Guillaumette a mickey, trying her best to conquer (for reasons obscure) the elusive, well-meaning, perhaps frigid, maid.

And yet did Wm&M. return in Fury and Triumph! A 26-14 win for the College of our Beloved Monarchs! I assay no Commentary on yr obscure and occasionally farcical colonial Sports, preferring the gentleman's pass-times - fox-hunting, refusing to pay night-wenches for their Services, and besting Rapscallions in duels & Fisticuffs. Nonetheless, I fly the flag of Victory high today, and shot my Muskett in Salute & Tribute to The Happy Occasion.


Included here is an acc't of the Event. Though barbarously written, it does suggest that Wm.&M. will keep the Action going in the next week. Which action, I refuse to speculate.

http://www.wm.edu/news/stories/2009/tribe-upends-uva-26-14-in-football-opener-123.php